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10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park." 8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgsicles. 7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter. 6. Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day." 5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month. 4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo. 3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming. 2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "M"s on them. And the Number One Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO... 1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape. |
